FIRST PLACE Entry (Excerpt) by Kimberly Murphy Age 17 Across the yard, Jacob was beginning his letter in a high, choked voice. "Dear Mulley. Mama said I could write you and put this letter by your grave. Ma said hi, and told me ta tell you that your collar is right by your water dish. She thought you would like that. This mornin' I almost didn't get up in time for church 'cause you weren't there to lick my face." He paused for a second and looked at the grave awkwardly. "I loved it when you did that, and when you would dig your wet nose into my covers and up against my feet. "Mama says you're up in heaven now, walkin' up there with God. She says He liked you so much that He took you with Him, 'cause He wanted to decorate heaven with you. I was glad at first 'cause I knew you'd be in heaven with all them swimmin' holes and ice cream (that's what Pasteur Jack said would be in heaven). But then I got to thinkin'; we have swimming holes and ice cream here." He paused, looking up at the dark skyline almost accusingly. "And God has the moon and the stars and all the planets. So why did He have to have you? And He knew you were my only dog. I'd never had no other dog. Billy has three and God didn't take any of them... and he has three." (c)Copyright 1997 Kimberly Murphy All Rights Reserved

Judges' Comments: Wow! This one brought us all to our knees-- sniffling into our handkerchiefs. What a powerful, moving story! Kimberly sets the scene for this story of a young boy's struggle to come to grips with the death of his beloved dog by providing a number of strong visual cues. She lets us see little Jacob "run through the back gate, towards the plywood headstone under the huge maple." She gives us just enough detail, referring to the "yellowed lawn" and "freshly up-turned soil" of the grave, but avoids the common mistake of piling on too many adjectives (descriptive words). The balance she strikes between description and action is right on target. Kimberly deliberately sneaks up on us with the knowledge that the grave is for a beloved dog rather than a person, thus adding to the emotional tension. The parallels drawn between little Jacob's grief over Mulley's death and his mother's grief over her father's death are gripping. The thoughts and emotions Kimberly portray ring true throughout this remarkable story. The characterization of Jacob is both subtle and skillful. Kimberly uses the written monologue (the letter to Mulley) to reveal, almost painfully, the inner turmoil of her young character. The dialogue is convincing and well-written, and adds yet another facet to Jacob's character. Finally, Kimberly shows an advanced skill level by correctly using quotation marks in several quotes that continue past a paragraph break. For example: "I loved....when you would dig your wet nose into my covers and up against my feet. [No end-quotes here, since the quote continues in the next paragraph] [New paragraph, new quotation marks to signify a continuing quote] "Mama says you're up in heaven now..." Overall, this story is superbly written, well-plotted, and emotionally gripping. Congratulations, Kimberly!

SECOND PLACE Entry (Excerpt) by Christina Dotson Age 16 "Mrs. Nesbit, I am so sorry," I told my next door neighbor, who stood on the other side of the fence that separated our two yards. "It was an accident, really. I feel terrible." "Well, imagine how I must feel," Mrs. Nesbit snapped. "There I was, in my garden, when all of a sudden this... this thing--" and she held up my soccer ball, "came sailing over the fence and landed on Brutus' head! The poor boy. He's probably traumatized!" I glanced down at Mrs. Nesbit's large Doberman, just one of her many pets. Brutus looked like a lot of things, but traumatized was definitely not one of them. (c)Copyright 1997 Christina Dotson All Rights Reserved

Judges' Comments: Christina did an excellent job on this story about a teenage girl who finds a clever way to make peace with her grouchy neighbor, Mrs. Nesbit. Both her writing skill and obvious knowledge of correct manuscript format indicate that she is writing at a professional level. Christina's submission arrived in picture-perfect format: double-spaced, printed on good quality white paper, with her name and address in the upper left corner of the first page and her copyright notice and approximate word count in the upper right. Her characters sprang to life almost from the first sentence, and with very few words, she managed to paint a crystal clear picture of their physical surroundings. Her use of dialogue was also extremely skillful, giving a distinct "voice" to each character. The story had a definite plot and focus, including a conflict (the teenager vs. Mrs. Nesbit) and a satisfying resolution (the teenager rescues Mrs. Nesbit's pet bird in a humorous scene, and Mrs. Nesbit signals an end to their conflict by returning the girl's soccer ball that she'd kept after it landed in her yard). The only error we could find in Christina's manuscript was one mis-used word-- "your" instead of "you're" used in the sentence: "She probably thinks your[sic] sitting around all day watching television." All things considered, that's a better record than most professional writers (and editors) maintain. Congratulations, Christina! We'll be watching for your byline in the future.

THIRD PLACE Entry (Excerpt) by Becky Winkler, 11 Hmm. I sat on the floor and swished my speckled tail back and forth over the soft blue rug, trying to decide what to do. My eyes searched the bedroom in a glance. Nope. No mice. Not a trace. Slightly too clean for my taste. I thought I might as well stay a while, though, since they did buy the gourmet cat food. Also, the kids were past the tail pulling stage. ...Back at home I found Martha and Kit's dad John at his desk working. Purring, I wound my way around his legs, then jumped into his lap. Pressing my paws on the keyboard, I messed up his typing, a sure way to get attention. "Hello, Cat," he said, pressing delete. He seemed content, and I guessed he hadn't gotten the ransom note yet... (c)Copyright 1997 Becky Winkler All Rights Reserved

Judges' Comments: Becky provides an amusing story about a cat who rescues "her" children, Kit and Martha, from the clutches of an evil, kidnapping roadrunner named Chaparal. She tells the story from the point of view (POV) of the cat, appropriately named "Cat." Many authors try to tell stories from animals' POVs, but few are convincing. Becky did an excellent job of characterizing both Cat and Chaparal, the evil roadrunner whose "beady eyes glittered" and who "spoke haughtily." By showing the thoughts, speech and actions of each of the characters, Becky gave them distinct personalities. We see Chaparal slyly manipulating the children by talking "sweetly" to them, then gradually luring them away by promising to show them her magical birdhouse. We see Cat's first response to Chaparal: "My tail went straight up in the air and the hairs on my back rose stiffly", and her determination to protect the children. "Kit and Martha were my kids now, and I wasn't about to let Chaparal's evil doings harm them." Becky plays the characters off one another very well. The plot is focused and well-organized. Our only advice to Becky would be to add a few (not too many!) more visual cues. About all we know about Cat's surroundings are that the bedroom has a "soft blue rug", that there is a "soft plush window seat cushion", and that the porch has a cement floor. ("I heard Chaparal's claw skitter across the cement porch toward the kitty door.") What do Kit and Martha look like? What color is Chaparal? It helps readers to have a clearer picture in mind if you give them a few more details. For her very fine job on this story, we're happy to award Becky with Third Prize. Congratulations!